Change: Why is it so Hard?

Lets start off with a simple definition of change- the introduction to a new feeling, environment, person, etc into one’s life.  So why is change so hard?  The reason is that we are “addicted” to our emotions.  Addiction is anything that we can not stop doing. 

So what your saying is that we are addicted to our emotions?  

Yes, both physically and chemically addicted.  When change is introduced, we will do what every it takes to return our state of homeostasis.

Every time we have a thought in our brain, we produce chemicals which produce feelings and other reactions in the body.  The body becomes use to these feelings released from the chemcials which travel throughout the body in our bloodstream, surrounding our cells and our brain.  When anything disrupts the regular, comfortable level of our body’s chemicals, we get a feeling of discomfort. Changing a person, place, thing, time, or event in our life means that we are breaking the neurochemical circuit that we have created through repetition. We will honestly do nearly anything, consciously and unconsciously, to return and restore our body to our familiar chemcial balance. So if we aren’t faced with any kind of external threat to return to normal, we will seek one out or create one physically or mentally. We will rationalize decisions/choices/actions, make excuses, create self depression etc… 

For example we all know a couple that continues to break up and always gets back together.  We all know they will never work and will end up breaking up again and again and again.  The reason this couple contiunes to go back to each other is that is familiar to them.  They have created feelings good and bad associated with being with one another.  When they break up it creates and releases a new chemcials and sense of feelings throughout.  The couple make themselves feel that there is no one else out in the world for them, that they have changed (reason to return) resulting in them getting back together.  Instead of embracing the change and dealing with the discomfort the couple gets back together to return to their state of homeostasis.  You can now see why change is so hard and there is a scientific explanation for it.  

You have the Freedom to Change

“A new experience evokes a new feeling. An unknown experience might expose us to an unknown feeling, so it initiates the survival mechanisms of the personality.” -Dr. Joe Dispenza

So to change, as cliché as it sounds, we must step outside our own box.  We must break the habit, fight the urge, enter into a level of discomfort, and continue on this path until we create new a neurochemical circuit.  If this habit of “self” isn’t broken, we will continue to repeat and fall back into the same cycle.  We are unable to predict the feelings of future situations, that is why we tend to be less interested on following through. This causes what causes us to be hestiate and enter the unfamiliar realm.  We need to overcome this fear/unfamilar realm and continue on the path to change. 

The Life Coach | Joshua David Thomas

The Life Coach Blog